Y'all, I just had to blog about this.

Here I sit, my belly full of barbeque brought home from the auction, and a light dusting of snow (snow!) outside.

And I turn on the TV, and this is what greets me. Toddlers and Tiaras.

I watched it a few nights ago, and I thought maybe the folks I was seeing on it were flukes. Surely, there are only a handful of parents and kids out there like this, right?

Right?

Wrong.

Last time, one of the families was a black lesbian couple from Jackson, Miss., with three girls. The two older girls, who were about 4 and 7, were the ones competing.

They made all their own pageant clothes, and y'all, I watched the two moms (along with their fashion designer/stylist friend) spend more at Hobby Lobby on stuff to make a couple of dresses than I pay in rent each month! And not to be judgemental - but they were obviously living in public housing.

Another family from my last viewing had two girls, the older one a confirmed tomboy and the younger the classic girly-girl. I kind of wondered if the mom pushed the younger to compete because of some deep-seated, subconscious resentment that her older daughter wasn't "girly" enough.

(Because I know NOTHING about tomboy daughters, of course.)

*coughfightswithdaughtertowearadresscough*

I was disappointed mostly with the attitudes/actions of the parents. After all, the kids are just doing what they've been programmed to do.

Like, say, wear false teeth because it's obviously not acceptable for a six-year-old to have a gap where she's lost her tooth. Or, prance around on stage in skimpy outfits and shake what their mamas gave them just a few short years before.

Today, there is a two-year-old whose father makes her pageant wear and is obviously more interested in her winning than she is. There are also several mothers competing against their daughters for the grand prize.

There are hair pieces, and fake tans, and false eyelashes.

I honestly don't know how these folks afford their "hobby" - the grand prize is only about $1,000 - $5,000 cash, and they've got to be spending much more than that on lessons, and spray tans, and spangly dresses. Not to mention travel to the pageant, and staying the weekend at the hotel!

Just for the sake of argument, I asked Anna Marie what she'd do if I tried to dress her up and put her in a pageant.

"I'd run away," she answered, not missing a beat.

Yeah, I think I'd run away too. Far, far away.