A pre-weigh-in check-in

Lots of hyphens in that title, huh?

Ever need a day off to recover from your day off? I usually do! I guess because I don't get to take a day off very often, I have to try to cram as much into them as possible.

Tuesday morning, Anna Marie mercifully didn't wake me up until 7:30 a.m. (Later would've been better, but I'm not going to split hairs here.)

Speaking of hair - we both got ours cut Tuesday. Well, she's still trying to grow hers out, so it just got shaped up a bit, but I probably lost like half a pound of hair. Sharon is so good with that thinning-out tool thingy!

We went to vote, and then took a trip 15 miles north to the nearest Kroger to get in on their awesome sale on chicken.

(Man, you know you're a mom when a sale on chicken gets you stoked!)

We also stopped at Subway for a sandwich. Never go to the grocery store hungry!

When we got home, it was such a nice day (as opposed to the six inches of snow on the ground over the weekend) that she played in the backyard whilst I put a roast in the crock pot and deboned chicken breasts to go in the freezer. After half an hour of that (including cleaning up) she beckoned me outside, where she'd set up a circuit of activities.

She'd make a great personal trainer.

We hit a baseball. We played catch. We kicked soccer balls into her goal. We threw wee tiny footballs. We played basketball. And we played field hockey, using a small fabric ball and some sticks.

Whew!

Add to that the two loads of laundry I put up, and I was done. I mean, stick a fork in me if you'd like - I was too pooped to go on. I just kind of lay around until Jason got home and it was time for dinner. Thank God for the crock pot!

I was still pretty exhausted yesterday, but I managed to make it through. And then, Jason brought me this, courtesy of Amanda:



Bet you can't guess who that is. Or who this is:



That's right! It's AM!

I had no clue about this, and truthfully, if I hadn't been told the cover photo was of her, I never would've guessed. The interior shot, of the polka-dot dress, was easier.

A friend of Amanda's was designing the cover for this album by JT Page, saw the pictures on her Flickr page, and asked to use them. They're perfect, especially since the album is called "Olivia's Dance." The title track was written in honor of the artist's granddaughter.

I'm listening to the album now - it's sort of jazz-meets-church music. Not bad - I don't know anything about the artist, except that he attends a Presbyterian church in Memphis and dropped a couple of copies of this album by Amanda's house last week in the middle of a blizzard.

The picture on the cover was taken the weekend we moved into our house, when AM was just about to turn 3. Once Jason told me who it was, I immediately remembered the outfit and the photos Amanda took that day. The inside image was taken not too long after that, because I think that dress was a size 3T.

I can't even explain the sense of pride I felt when I saw this, because really, what did I have to do with it? Amanda took the picture. Her friend saw it and designed the cover. And this Page fella recorded the music.

But, it's my child, all the same, and I guess its that connection I feel with her, that makes me happy when something like this happens to her.

(By the way - she didn't seem too impressed. Maybe when she's older she'll appreciate it!)

Now, I have a full day of work to look forward to before weigh-in tonight. I really wish there was some other time, besides the end of a deadline day, that I could do this!

Here comes the bride!

I'm about to BLOW Blogger's mind with all these pictures.

We had such a good time with the wedding this weekend. Friday night was the most entertaining wedding rehearsal I've ever been to, and believe me, I've been to plenty.

(It was my first Catholic rehearsal, so I don't know - maybe they're all that way?)

I have to say, the priest was hilarious, and having someone in authority in charge of the rehearsal is a stroke of genius. No one is going to argue with a man of the cloth, the way they might with your Aunt Ethel who is coordinating things.

The church was spectacular, to say the least. After I had the honor of helping Marcia get dressed, I snapped a few pictures around the sanctuary.





This is the baptismal font. The priest said it had won an award for liturgical design. (And my mother walked past it - twice - without even noticing it.)













I even got all fancy-schmancy and put my camera into black and white mode. And turned off the flash, so I had brace myself against various things.

It was a beautiful ceremony, and the priest was very understanding, given that about 95% of the folks there had no idea what was going on. It was a Catholic wedding full of Baptists.

The priest did mention Marcia's aunt in the prayer, and her family was there. You could tell it was really hard for her husband and kids to be there. In fact, he took his grandson (who is 6) and left the reception early. They went to McD's so he could spend some time with him.

I was so exhausted afterward. I was also thankful that I had successfully worn high-heeled boots and walked up a ramp to the podium without slipping, and that I had managed to get through the scripture and the responsorial reading without making a total fool of myself.

Oh, yeah, and Friday night at the rehearsal dinner, Jason informed me that a couple from church was having a Super Bowl party at their house. Great. I had no time to do anything about it Friday or Saturday, so I braved the crowds and ventured to Walmart after church.

The man of the house was pulling for the Giants (who else, with Ole Miss alum Eli?) and he did not play. When his daughter grabbed the remote and changed the channel during a commercial, I thought she would not survive to see another morning.

We left during halftime, and, believe it or not, the two non-football-watching Turners finished the game after we got home.

And got to see little Eli make his family proud.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a murder trial starting this week. You may not see me around these parts for the rest of the week.

Leapin' lizards!

(Sorry, Lissete - I know how much you hate these things!)

Last night, Jason told Anna Marie she'd have to pick up her Thomas train tracks that ran from one end of the living room to the other. She was distraught, because she was really digging the track configuration, and didn't want to take the time to draw it.

I suggested she take a picture, which led to her wanting to take portraits of all her trains, which led to a lesson in using the macro setting.

Which also led to me taking her picture, because its been awhile.

She asked if she could hold something, and grabbed a lizard she'd made in the shape of an "L" for school. (There was also a snake-shaped "S" among other things)





This one is ultra-realistic. She even included blood - I guess her lizard had gotten into a few scrapes along the way.



I was rather put out to realize the flash was still off after Jason used it to take a picture last week. By the time I'd turned it on, the moment had passed and she was out of the mom-taking-a-picture-of-me mood.

I've also been playing with my Cricut. Here are a few of my layouts.







And this was a scrap of Bazzil, which I turned into a bookmark.




I've just informed Jason of the existence of packs of paper that Cricut sells that are already 6X12 and don't have to be cut down to fit the mat. It's the first step in me being able to procure a few packs.

I don't know how many of you got the wild weather yesterday, but I hope everyone is safe and sound!

Guess what we finally got around to doing?

Taking our Christmas card picture!

We've been so busy these past few weeks - I was afraid we wouldn't get it done at all, just like 2004. Complicating the matter was the fact that Amanda no longer resides a stones-throw from me, but has moved an hour away.

Yesterday, I woke up with a plan. Well, actually I'd been planning it for a few days, ever since I woke up last Sunday in a panic about the whole process.

I knew Amanda would be in Downtown Memphis feeding homeless people, because that's whas she does most every Saturday. I also knew we has a first birthday party for my cousin Cheree's exceedingly cute daughter Amelia, just across the river from Memphis in Arkansas.

I asked Amanda to meet us downtown after her homeless feeding duities were over. And she did!

I likewise knew that it would be 4 p.m. or after before any of us could get down there, so outdoor pictures would be out of the question. We parked in our favorite free-parking spot, and walked a couple of blocks to the Peabody Place Mall and their ginormous Christmas tree.

Someone in our group was being less-than-cooperative, and kept asking for pizza. And after she was threatened within an inch of her life to never ride the choir bus again, we finally got a usable shot.

I stayed up pretty late last night working on these, and they should be waiting on me at Wal Mart when church gets out.

Now, comes the fun part - finding the addresses, because neither my ultra-organized husband nor I appear smart enough to save them from year to year.

The inaugural pictures

So, I took a couple pictures. Like this one of a flower on Shirley's desk at work.



And this one, of the side of my office.

But the best pictures came when we went to Mom's to pick up Anna Marie, who was spending the afternoon over there. We drove up, and my aunt was standing under a tree looking up and clapping her hands.

We figured out pretty quickly that one of her cats had been chased up a tree by the dog who has started hanging around.

Jason took matters into his own hands - he got a ladder and started climbing.







Eventually, through some negotiations, Tinkerbell decided to come down. Or rather, she was yanked down. Whatever. She's down now.

I am VERY pleased with the camera. It has all sorts of neat features, like white balance and aperture controls, that Amanda is trying to show me how to use. I feel completely overwhelmed, but I keep telling myself I can learn to use this camera!



I (heart) it.

WHYYYYYY? A live-blogging event until my camera arrives

(Or at least until my publisher gets here and I can't be on teh intarwebs anymore.)

Why did I have the thing shipped to my house, and not my office? WHYYYYY?

2:24 p.m. - It's not here. Or at least it wasn't a few minutes ago when I called home to talk to Amanda about The Office season finale she was over there watching (Best! Ever! OMG!) He picked up the phone and immediately said "No, it isn't here." UPS and HSN both claim it's out for delivery. Why hasn't someone invented GPS for tracking my purchases? I want to know EXACTLY where it is. Now! This very instant!

Guess I should've followed my gut and tackled the UPS man when I saw him at Captain D's during lunch.

2:43 p.m. - Still no change. How am I supposed to concentrate and finish my last article, knowing that somewhere, in the heat, riding around in a bumpy brown van, is my new camera? Huh? Between that, and the music coming from the cubicle next to mine, it's a lost cause.

(Now technically, this isn't liveblogging, because I'm having to backdate it a bit. My boss just left).

3:00 p.m. - No camera, and now the boss is here! Yikes!

3:20 p.m. - Jason just brought me the camera. Of course, the boss asked to see it. He was very impressed - maybe he'll order one for the office!

My first liveblogging experiment is now over. And, in a few minutes, my workday will be too - and I can get down to biz-nass with my new camera.

Take one little girl

Add some feather boas



And look what you come up with.



We were at Hancock Fabrics yesterday, and Anna Marie fell in love with the walls of boas. She asked me to take her picture.

When I took the camera out of my purse, the battery door (which barely stays shut as it is, because it's been dropped a couple times, both in this life and its previous life as Amanda's) popped open and I nearly lost one of the batteries under a pattern table.

Good thing Jason got me to order this for my Mother's Day present:



It won't be here until sometimes this week, but just knowing it's coming is a comfort.

It's from HSN, and it's on Flex Pay. We'll have to eat sandwiches a little more often, but that's OK by me. I also may be selling one of our extra cars, so that money can go for the camera.

We had a good day today - after church, we went to the local college cafeteria for lunch. I know, it sounds odd, but it's really, really nice. It's the last Sunday it will be open for the rest of the summer, so we thought we'd go while we could.

Then, we went to Mom's house, and now Anna Marie is spending the night. Mom is house sitting for my Aunt Debi, because she's in Texas attending a cousin's funeral. Mom had some other family obligations, so she stayed behind.

Anna Marie made me some presents yesterday at our town's MayFair celebration - a heart-shaped magnet with a butterfly made from her thumbprints, and a bear-shaped bookmark. She also made me a card that said "I love you mom, 1000%!" and had a "portrait" of me.

(Actually, she made the card twice - she couldn't find the first one, so she reproduced it this morning. Then she found the original, and said "Is it OK if you have two cards?")

I never realized until today how great those homemade gifts from your kids make you feel. I don't even care about the camera - her crafts are the real treasure.

So for all you mothers out there - and those who "mother" others - Happy Mother's Day.

Somebody call the Labor Board

Because Anna Marie has been employed at Naw's Sweatshop.

She was visiting my mom and aunt last week (who live next to each other) and my aunt put her to work, washing dishes.

She was more than happy to oblige.

(The name "Naw's Sweatshop" was my aunt's idea. Her grandkids call her "Naw" so to Anna Marie she's Aunt Naw.)

Amanda was kind enough to send me these pictures. I hope you need a laugh as much as I did when I saw them!





Have a good Tuesday everyone - I worked 13 hours yesterday (getting home at 11:30 p.m.) so I'll probably be going home after lunch.

We're so famous, we're infamous!

Does anyone remember that movie, The Three Amigos? About three movie stars, who were summoned to Mexico to battle a real life bad guy? He was referred to as "Infamous" so the dolts thought the was so famous as to be "infamous"?

No? Just me? Oh well.

Anyway, my publisher wrote a set of scathing editorials that published yesterday about our state's Attorney General. He basically calls for the AG to resign, because of the damage done to the state's insurance industry in the wake of his malicious comments.

In case you didn't know, people in South Mississippi are suing their insurance companies because of Hurricane Katrina-related damage. That includes Senator Trent Lott, who lost one of his houses. I think the main question is over whether the damage was caused by wind or water. And I also believe (someone correct me if I'm wrong) that the insurance companies are simply trying to uphold the contracts the homeowners agreed to in the first place.

Oh, and make a profit, naturally.

So, Mr. Hood, the AG, called all insurance companies "Robber Barons" and is encouraging the citizens to revolt against them. State Farm announced that after last week, they would write no new homeowners policies in this state - no matter where in the state you reside.

My boss is concerned that because State Farm is basically pulling out of the homeowners insurance industry in Mississippi, there will be less competition and prices will rise for everyone.

He also says that he doesn't blame the company for pulling out, given the attitude of the AG.

So, somehow, through the magic of the Internet, the editorial has gotten statewide coverage.

Our phones have been ringing off the hook. Our website has been overrun with hits. We're getting calls from PR firms, wanting permission to use the editorials in their work for the insurance industry.

We're the subject of talk radio shows.

I spent yesterday playing phone tag with the state's Insurance Commissioner, who was wanting to give me his two cents worth. He finally just emailed me today.

I guess it's catching people off guard that the only paper in the state with this viewpoint is a small weekly.

My boss said that he doesn't think he's the only one thinking like this, just the only one "obnoxious enough" (his words, not mine!) to say so in public.

He's thrilled. Naturally.

We have to walk a fine line around here - how do we stir up enough controversy to sell papers, but yet not enough to get ourselves sued? Thankfully, the AG is a public official, and he would have to meet a higher standard of proof - that we knowingly printed something untrue or damaging - before he could sue. And, as my boss says, "When you're an elected official, you have to put up with a certain amount of crap."

(This is the same man that, when our web hosting company had problems last month, ripped the check for their payment in half before he signed it, and sent it in with a note saying "This is your half payment for the half-a**** service you provided." Their comptroller called, and offered to give him January's service for free.)

So, much like the villan on Three Amigos, our little newspaper is becoming somewhat infamous.

Next, we'll be doing a song and dance number.

My little buttercup, has the sweetest smile…

I'm taking pictures

Because my desk

may never be

this clean again.

Seriously.

I spent a good bit of time the last few days cleaning up around here. I don't know how long it'll be maintained, but at least for a couple of days, I have visual peace.

I'm supposed to clean up on Friday afternoons after I get finished with my pages, but by that time, I just want to relax for a bit before I go home.

That last picture - do you know what that is?

IT'S A CHAIR.

Usually, it's covered up in clutter, and no one can sit in it.

Not any more.

And the glut of stuff that accumulated under the chair for the past two years, well, it's gone too.

I should've gotten this cleaning streak before the cleaning lady came yesterday and emptied my trash can, because it's overflowing now. Guess I'll have to empty it myself, because I don't think it's going to make it until next Tuesday.

(Besides, Monet is about 80 years old, and I really wouldn't feel right expecting her to haul my junk like that.)

I dusted my desk last week, because my office mate Felicia has horrible allergies, and she said they seem to act up worse when she's at work. I'm trying to do my part, because our "cleaning lady" sure doesn't.

Seriously - Felicia asked me if someone was supposed to dust, and I told her that Monet was supposed to, but somehow never did. You'd think we'd get more for the $15 a week we pay her for two hours work! Hmph!

So, my darling blog readers, as Shelley said in my favorite poem "Ozymandias" (which I have printed out and hung above my desk):

Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!

In other words - I issue a challenge to all out in blog land, to clean up their areas and post pictures! Even if you're lucky enough to be a SAHM, you still have a work area - how else would you publish your blogs?

Go on - get to it!

I love a parade!

Well, I don't love it that much, but I have a small child.

And she LOVES parades.

Her favorite part is the marching bands.

Last night, we had our annual Christmas parade in Senatobia. Why they can't have it during the day, I'll never know. I'll also never know why the weather can be sunny and 65 degrees in the days leading up to the event, but that night, it turns blue cold.

We're talking 25 degrees here, folks.

Last year, I didn't even take Little AM. She spent the night with my mom, way out in the county, where she didn't even know there was a parade.

I stood on a street corner for two hours, freezing both myself and my camera, to get pictures that didn't come out anyway.

This year, I had a plan. My general manager doesn't seem real happy with it, but my publisher told me to.

I went to the parking lot where the floats were setting up about 4:30, before it got dark. I got a picture of a group and their float.

I then went to cover the county school board meeting, which had been moved up to 5:00 p.m. so that board members could get out before Main Street was blocked off.

It didn't let out until 7:15. I had to take a back road and park at the bank next door to my office so I could walk over and clock out.

I really, really didn't want to have to get back out, but our house backs up to the businesses on Main Street - it isn't like I could pretend that there was no parade going on in our backyard. Besides, she was ready to go when I got there.

I made myself a PB&J and we set out to find a parking space. Call me soft, but I was not leaving the confines of my van. We'd be cold, but at least the wind would be off of us and we could crank up occasionally and get some heat going. Plus, I wouldn't have to worry about an excited five-year-old running out into the street.

I got lucky - even though it was close to 7:30 when we left the house, and the parade started at 7:00, we found a spot - at an intersection around the corner from my house. We were allowed to park in the middle of the street, because, well, Main Street was blocked and no one was going to be coming through anyway.

The parade was just about to get to our section, so we didn't have to wait long.

Anna Marie kept making these odd, giggly noises. I asked her if she was OK, and she just kept telling me how excited she was.

It lasted about an hour, and then I got out into traffic and found a place to turn around at a red light. We were cold. We were tired. But at least one of us was happy!

Like I said - there was no use in my trying to take the pictures anyway - my shutter gets sluggish in the cold, and it's too dark to get pictures of floats in the dark. Plus, I have a little point-and-shoot, and my flash is absolutely useless.

So I had to endure the disappointment of my GM, when she knows good and well that in the four years I've been working here we've never had a picture of the first place float to go on the front page.

There is another parade in our county tonight, and the GM says she's going to try to take pictures. I can't go, because I have another board meeting to cover.

*and 10 points to whoever can tell me where that song "I Love a Parade" comes from. I have no idea, but it's been circling through my head today.

And not a Ricki Lake in the bunch.

(When I was in college, I had many, MANY people tell me I look like Ricki Lake. I even had someone at church ask me if I was her.)



I don't know who most of these people are, but Britney Spears? Really?

Oh, and I've definitely decided I want a nose job for Christmas. Brian Robertson was right in the fourth grade - my nose does take up 80% of my face!

If you take a kid to Oxford…

She's probably going to end up in the lap of a Nobel Prize winning author.



Acting very silly.

Or maybe, she'll just be investigating a British phone box.



Whichever. She will, however, have a really good time, except when she's complaining that her Aunt Manda is "wasting her time" taking pictures.

In Amanda's words, "You knew how I was when you married me."

The not-so-itsy-bitsy-spider

This was living in the bushes near my front door on Saturday morning. In fact, I think it's still there.

Don't know if you can tell, but it's GINORMOUS. It's about the size of my hand.

So, all you spider experts out there - what is it, or, how can I find out what it is?

HELP!

Finally! Birthday pictures!

(And, I'm saying that in the nicest possible way, AMANDA!)

Birthday party pictures at Flikr

Enjoy!

And now for the week's soccer pictures

(And again, many thanks to Amanda. I don't know what parents do who don't have their Own Personal Paparazzo following their kids around. I guess they must have to take pictures or something. Me? I just get pregnant, pop out The Worlds Cutest Kid, and let the photography ensue. It's great.)



I don't know what she was talking to Abbi about in this picture. However, I do know that Abbi's grandfather is like the head of the Tate County Republican Party or something, so they could've been discussing politics. Anna Marie has also been watching more Fox News now that Aunt Debi is around, so they could very well be forming their own branch of the Tate County Junior Republicans.



I believe in this picture she is practicing her karate moves while on the sidelines. Except, she doesn't take karate. She just likes to practice it on the sidelines during soccer.



And one last photograph. Although you'll notice no Anna Marie, it is a pretty good showing of how CUTEY McCUTE CUTE these kids are in their too-big soccer uniforms (or kits, as they're called across the pond).

By the way, we seem to be making some progress. The coach told me Saturday that she was "funny" and that he was beginning to be able to understand what she was saying to him. In fact, he understood her perfectly when she told him that she was GROWLING AT THE OTHER TEAM! Seems she thought that little tactic would intimidate them.

Judging by the ratio of their goals to ours, I don't think it worked.

Note for next week: growling, as a form of intimidation, is unsportsmanlike and very probably frowned on in church soccer league circles.

New and improved! Now with soccer pictures!

Ok, let me preface this post by saying that I did not take ANY of these pictures.

They were the product of Anna Marie's Own Personal Paparazzo, her Aunt Manda. I "borrowed" them from her Flickr.

I have become so accustomed to just lugging Amanda around everywhere we go, that I don't bother to lug a camera around very often.

(Of course, Amanda, I mean "lugging" in the nicest possible way!)

So, here's how Saturday's game went down. Good thing they don't keep score in the kindergarten division.



She's pretty good at kicking, so they let her do it a good bit. She got the opening kick (I don't know what you call that in soccer) and she also helped out her team by kicking the ball back in bounds.

And rest assured, it went out of bounds a lot. In fact, her team didn't quite get the whole kick-the-ball-vaguely-in-the-direction-of-your-goal thing. That's OK. Their uniforms are too big, so they're CUTE! And that's all that matters, right?



Ok. Now, Anna Marie is a bright kid, but she's what you might call "excitable." She's also what you might call "easily distractable," a trait she gets from me. Several times throughout the game, she was not quite paying attention to the game itself, but starting random conversations with the other kids. Even when she was running with the ball, she would shout to her teammates "I'm getting really good at this!" Note for next time: less talking, more running/kicking.



And, this picture? Is that even LEGAL? I don't know anything about soccer, but I don't think one of the other kids is allowed to HOLD MY BABY BACK while he gets to the ball. Am I wrong?

She had a lot of fun, which I guess is the point. And, she got the "Most Christlike Player" award. I don't really know what their critera are for that. She did show some concern when the other kids got hurt, so maybe that's it. One of Amanda's friends says they must determine it by watching old tapes of Jesus playing soccer as a kid, and pick the one who looks most like Him.

Not that I'm not proud of that award or anything, but if they'd had a "Player Who Felt The Need To Comment On Everything" award, she would've had that all sewn up. I think she talked more than any kid on the team. And yes, she comes by that honestly.

At least she didn't flop around on the ground constantly like one of her teammates. And, seeing the whole team in a real game made me feel better that my kid wasn't the only clueless one out there.

Unfortunately, practice was cancelled this week because of rain. The Geckos could have REALLY used some more coaching before this weekend.

GO GECKOS!

For all you Anna Marie fans out there…

I caved.

I made The Kid a blog.

Amanda has rolled her eyes over the whole thing.

She has two posts (one of them a video) so go visit already.

And leave her a comment, if you please. It'll make a little red headed girl happy.

Anna Marie's World

The rims say it all.

In case you can't see these, they say "Player." In the center, and all around the edge. They were so shiny, I had a really hard time getting this picture (not to mention trying to sneak and do it, so that the owner of the vehicle wouldn't come and pimp slap me.)

These were spotted on a slick BMW outside the Tate County court house yesterday. I couldn't resist. Has this person ever heard of "hubris?" (Thanks, Dr. Krickel, for that one. That's Krickel, like nickel, not pickle.)

Anna Marie is still coughing. The doctor didn't really address that problem AT ALL. I called back today, and he's called her in some cough medicine at the pharmacy. He could've just paid attention to that yesterday. She was coughing her little red head off in the office. I know he could hear her.

She is, however, on the road to recovery, and for that I am thankful.

Man, I am so vain.

This is how vain I am: instead of renewing my driver's license online, I got up early and drove half an hour to the nearest DMV, then stood in line for an hour and a half. Why? TO GET A NEW PICTURE.

That's right. In my newfound smaller-ness, I've become VAIN. The old picture wasn't bad - in fact, it was taken in the fall when I finally got around to changing the address on my license. (I'd only moved about a year before, but I kept the old address until I had to order new checks.) But, after losing 54.5 pounds, one tends to get vain. At least I did.

My old one will expire on Sunday, and they closed the DMV station in Senatobia due to staffing shortages (most of the state's troopers are doing long stints of duty on the coast still) so I had to drive to Nesbit. Or, I had Jason drive me, because the inspection is out on the van and I couldn't chance a trooper coming through the parking lot checking such things and giving me a ticket. I have a cracked windsheild, and so can't get a sticker. Jason and my dad also have cracked windsheilds, and so we're going to try to get a package discount. Thing is, Jason's will expire tomorrow, so we'll have two "rebel vehicles." (Because they don't test for emissions in Mississippi, but doggone it, you'd better not have a cracked windsheild.)

So here I am. Counting down the days until my birthday, and getting just one more thing done that proves I'm about to turn another year older. And being vain while doing so.