Melissa Turner here, for being sad when a celeb dies

It's been a weird week for famous people, y'all. And while I've always been a sucker for a dead pop culture icon (RIP MJ! Don't stop till you get enough, man!) one death is hitting me kinda, unexpectedly, hard.

That's right. Mr. Kaboom hisownself, Billy Mays.

While I've never been a fan of his (or his obnoxiously loud voice) I've been watching his reality show, Pitchmen, and it's given me a new respect for his craft.

The show has given me a glimpse at a more human side of the Oxy Clean guy, but I guess that was part of the point. Not only did he perform in the commercials, he and his buddy Antony Sullivan (or, Sully as he's known on the show) actually worked with the inventors on how to best market their products.

His was a unique brand of showmanship, and I'm just sad that I didn't find these gems until today:





I just about split my side on that second one. Laying low in a motel room FTW!



REST IN PEACE, BILLY MAYS. OUR WORLD IS BETTER PLACE BECAUSE YOU YELLED AT US.

Where has the summer gone?

It seems like school just let out a few days ago, and yet here we are nearing the end of June.

Crazy!

We published our Profiles issue today, which happens every June. And, the Five Star Races are Friday night! Time for those already! Anna Marie's age group has a 1/4 mile run, and I (foolishly) promised to take her to the park tonight to practice on the 1/4 mile track there.

In the middle of a heat advisory. Yay me!

Next week is the Fourth of July, and the next day Anna Marie leaves for camp in Oklahoma. When she gets back, she's leaving the next day for South Carolina, and then it's just a couple more weeks until school starts again.

Have mercy!

I guess just like Christmas comes earlier each year, so does the first day of school!

I'm just kind of dreading that the second half of this summer is going to pass by even more quickly than the first!

Oh no she din't!

Oh yes she did.

Told you I was tweaking things these days!

I just realized, I haven't cooked in four days.

Not since lunch on Sunday have I had to cook.

Brilliant!

Here's the rundown of my week, so far:

Sunday night, we went to our small group meeting. We had hamburgers, graciously donated by Peasnap Catering, and I didn't have to cook them! WIN!

Then, on Monday, my dad was at my house using the internet when I got home, and he and Jason were in the middle of something, and I realized that I had just a few minutes to get Anna Marie to Vacation Bible School at our friend's church. Since they feed them at VBS, and Jason and I hadn't eaten, he had me pick up some Kentucky Grilled Chicken.

(Side note: that stuff is really good, so don't go telling me that it isn't as healthy as it pretends to be, because we're eating it at least once a week now. LALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!)

Tuesday, I worked late, and my mom took AM to VBS. Jason ate popcorn for dinner in my absence - since I didn't know what time I'd be home, I told him to go ahead and eat - and I heated up some fat free refried beans in the mircowave.

(Microwave does not equal cooking, people.)

Today - oh, what can I say about today? What can I say about a day that really started at 10:30 last night, when my friend at the Sheriff's Office sent me a Facebook message to check my work email, because there had been an incident with a deputy, and I had a press release waiting. Except I CAN'T check my work email from home, because it includes some odd username/password combo that I don't have memorized for the webmail login. So I spent the next 30 minutes combing the websites of my competitors up north, and pieced together what had happened.

What had happened was: a guy freaked out, assaulted someone, stole a car, and left. Then, he killed a guy in a car on the side of the road. Then, he robbed a convenience store at gunpoint. After that, he kidnapped a relative, ran from a deputy, and tried to kill that deputy in two different ways before being shot himself.

He's facing at least half a dozen charges when he gets out of the hospital.

So anyway, after waiting two hours on a press conference to start today, and having my car run hot on the way back, and working through lunch, and then having a really, really long staff meeting, and then working overtime to finish a special section that had to go down today - well, let's just say I didn't argue any when Jason had brought home some grilled chicken salads.

And will I have to cook tomorrow night? Nope. It's our weekly trip to Backyard Burger. And I may not cook Friday either, because Anna Marie is spending the night with a cousin so we may take advantage of another date night.

So folks, the moral of this story is - sometimes, when the world is crumbling around you, at least you won't have to spend what little time you have left slaving away in the kitchen.

A change is gonna come

I was going to call this post "ch-ch-ch-changes" and put up a picture of David Bowie, but then I remembered - I've already done that.

So, instead, I used the title of a Sam Cooke song. Clever, no?

No?

Well.

As you can see, I've made a couple of changes. I was inspired by some changes that are happening at work today, and which I'm still trying to process.

The first you'll notice is the layout; yes, I'm talented at the "copy and paste" method of blog updating.

The second thing you'll notice is the "Swidget."

(It's that great big square thing over there on the sidebar. Please, if you know some html hack I can use to get that thing to shrink, for the love of Pete, let me know! I'm a mere mortal and not privy to that sort of know-how.)

I've signed up with Swagbucks and, while I haven't redeemed any yet, I'm really, really close to being able to do so! And they've got lots of cool stuff, just for searching! And if you click that Swidget and sign up from here, I get more!

Swagbucks is a search engine, powered by Google, which randomly chooses to give you rewards points for using it. You can then trade those points in for oodles of different things - mp3s, gift cards, and lots more.

Though I haven't gotten any prizes, I promise it's legit. I know people who have! Seriously! And I'm having even more fun with these things called "swagcodes" that they have "hunts" for. The other night, during the NBA finals, they hid FIVE codes on their site. FIVE! It was only good during half time (the codes all have time limits) and I actually had fun figuring out the clues to find the codes.

(I am SUCH a dork.)

If you sign up with Swagbucks on Twitter or Facebook, you get all sorts of neat information - like when there's a swag code! They also have a program called Twitter Tuesday Phrase that Pays, and if they pick your tweet, you win 50 Swagbucks!

Sweet!

I've also gotten around to finally changing the "What I'm Reading" button over there. I love Lillian Jackson Braun's books - they make me want to live the life of the main character, in a quaint little town, with plenty of money from an inheritance, and a couple of Siamese cats.

Living in a converted barn, and writing a column for the local paper - no crime stories, no angry public officials. That would be the life!

I've made a couple more changes to Anna Marie's room too, but - I kinda ordered a little custom canvas wall thing for her room. It'll only be about $10, and it's by a local artist! I've just got a little more tweaking to do before I'm ready to reveal her room.

Tweaking. I guess that's what I should have called today's activity. TWEAKING.

A tweak here. A tweak there.

Add it up, and a change is gonna come.

It's 2 p.m. on a Sunday, and I'm still in my nightclothes.

No, no one is sick.

No, Hell didn't freeze over.

Yes, we did have a massive storm on Friday night, which knocked the power out to lots of places - including my church. We drove past yesterday, and a huge tree had fallen over onto the lines about a block up, snapping the power pole in half.

Like a huge toothpick.

So, while we could've gone all old-school and had church outside (a logistical nightmare, with 1,500 average attendees) I suppose, it was canceled. And, for a high-tech church like mine, that means a series of text messages and Facebook posts about 8 p.m. last night.

(It's a good thing we didn't try to have church outside, because it was storming AGAIN this morning.)

What did we do while said storm was wreaking havoc on the Mid-South?

We were driving. Or, more specifically, I was driving. To downtown Memphis, where there was a tornado watch.

And it was all for Jason - so we could see Jaws at The Orpheum, on the big screen, as part of their Summer Movie Series.

No, we didn't take Little AM - my mom came and spent the night so we could have a date!

I hadn't seen the movie all the way through, and there was one scene - underwater, Richard Dreyfuss in a wet suit, next to an abandoned boat, I won't say more for fear of spoiling it for the 3 folks who still haven't seen it - that I just about ended up in Jason's lap.

Hyperventilating. He, of course, thought it was hilarious. I, of course, did not.

So, here we are, actually spending a Sunday at home, and Anna Marie and I have yet to get dressed. I spent about an hour on her room this morning (how do I always end up with at least one bag full of trash, no matter how often I go in there?) and she and Jason have been carrying on for the past two hours or so.

(Oh, the sounds of "teamwork." I can hear them even as I type. Better him than me.)

We will be having our small group meeting tonight, which is good, because Peasnap Catering is providing the hamburgers for our cookout. Jason and I make about four dozen "Snappy Burgers" (my name for his proprietary blend of secret herbs and spices, available on Tuesdays at the kiosk in the auction bay) and they're now in my freezer.

Mmm, mmm, good.

I'm trying really, really hard to get Anna Marie's room into shape, because it's really, really stressful for me to go in there when it isn't - and she's about to leave for two weeks, to Oklahoma and South Carolina, and I'm not going to spend my precious break time cleaning in there!

Maybe, just maybe, we'll get some "after" photos in a bit - because I sure as heck didn't take any before.

I don't want to be reminded of that mess!

Thank you, dear, for getting my best side.

No, really, thanks.

(I found this on the camera sometime Saturday evening. He thinks he's pretty slick, doesn't he? Notice what I'm carrying - Anna Marie's hand, my purse, a tote bag full of makeup and hair stuff, and her bag of costumes. What's he carrying? The camera.)

Anna Marie had her dance recital on Saturday, and I'm just stoked we survived the whole weekend. We had Relay for Life on Friday night, and then this took up our whole Saturday.

Whew.

She was, of course, adorable. More than usual, since I'd purchased some ($9!) sponge rollers in an attempt to coax her stick-straight hair into ringlets. So cute, and yet, so temporary. Despite my best efforts, when she appeared on stage the first time (about an hour after her hair was fixed) they were halfway gone, and by the second appearance (an hour after that) they were merely amber waves.



We had a pretty big crowd with us this year - my mom, my aunt Esther, my two cousins, and my cousin's two-year-old daughter Amelia. I wish I could've gotten some shots of that cutie trying to dance along with the girls onstage, but it was dark, and we were reminded repeatedly "No flash photography!"

Like anyone with any sense would expect a regular flash to reach up there on stage! But I digress.

Her first dance, the ballet, was from The Little Mermaid (Part of That World). I can see so much improvement over last year! The second dance, the tap, was from the musical Jersey Boys, which, if you don't know, is about Frankie Valle and the Four Seasons. Mom and Aunt Esther got a big kick out of that segment, because of all the old music. Anna Marie shook her bottom to a medley of "Stay" and something which escapes me at the moment.

We had Newk's afterwards for dinner, and for those of you not living in the Mid-South, let me describe it: they have pizzas, salads, sandwiches, and soups.

And Coke Zero in the fountain machine. Praise be.

Afterwards, Jason and Anna Marie spent entirely too long in Petco, purchasing a thrice of red-eyed fish of some sort. And I walked around other stores as long as my high-heeled-fabulous-sandaled feet would allow.

And when we got home, I let Jason and Anna Marie walk the dogs. And I stayed to home.

(Oh, don't cry for Jason. I'd walked them that morning, and let him sleep in. And then, Lucky nipped Anna Marie on the arm because she'd touched him while he was barking at the cat next door. Actually, it was more like he scraped her with his teeth.)

(She's fine. Tis only a flesh wound!)

I did go walking with them after church yesterday, but again, I bowed out of the evening walk. How else am I supposed to get some alone time, even if it's just 20 or 30 minutes while they walk around the neighborhood?


And that brings me to today. I'm a bit headachy and dizzy, which I'm sure I can chalk up to my sinuses. I'm so glad this weekend is over, but I feel like I need a day off to recover!

Oh well - it's just a few weeks until July 4. And, by the time I get a day off for that holiday, Anna Marie will be on her way to Oklahoma for camp!

Confession is good for the soul

I have a shocking confession to make.

I've only been to the gym twice in two weeks.

I know.

See, last week, I took Monday off since it was a holiday. And I went Wednesday. And then on Friday, my key wouldn't work.

My gym is open 24/7, and the only way to get in is with a bar code on a key fob. And even if folks there know you're a member, if your key doesn't work, they aren't supposed to let you in. And there's no staff there at 6 a.m. to answer questions.

So, humiliated, I left. And went to Walmart.

(At least I got some walking in, right?)

I was so furious! I was going to call and give someone a piece of my mind!

And then, about an hour later, I remembered - our bank had issued us new debit cards at the beginning of the month because of a "possible security breach." They gave us a couple of weeks to activate the new ones, and they deactivated the old ones.

And my bank draft for my membership was on the old card.

So, since it was too early to change that (no staff until 9 a.m.) I changed all the other things that were hooked to it - Netflix, The Grocery Game, a couple other things.

Man, I spend a lot of money each month without even thinking about it.

When the staff was in, I called and changed the number. But, I was frightened. What if I went, and it still didn't work?

Monday Jason got up to walk the dogs, and saw me still in my PJs sipping coffee, and said, "You didn't go to the gym?"

Nope. I was waiting until the staff was in, and trying my card again, so that if it didn't work I could have someone to talk to, I said.

Except, I didn't do that. And yesterday, when Anna Marie was at my mom's so I could have gone (Jason was at work), I didn't go. I walked the dogs instead.

(It isn't like I haven't been getting exercise, y'all. I am now the owner of two large dogs, and let me tell you, walking them is a real workout!)

And then, just as I was about to return them to their pen and feed them breakfast, Delta broke the leash and chased a little boy across the street. She's never done that, so I don't know what her deal was. I don't think she would've bit him, but it broke my heart to see the look of terror on his face! She stopped at the sidewalk, and I guess he turned the corner and hid.

I guess when I was leashing her, I'd hooked the clip to the small keychain-like ring that held her tags, instead of the big ring on her collar. When she bolted, she went one way, the ring snapped, and her tags went the other way. I spent about 15 minutes looking for those things!

But, this morning, my key worked. And I walked on the treadmill - I'm increasing my incline, to get a better workout in the same amount of time - and I was glad I did. I was getting out of the "habit" of going, but it felt really, really good to accomplish that this morning and get it out of the way.

No more laying out for a week for me! The guilt alone is enough to kill a body!

May 22

That was he last time I updated this blog.

It is now June 2.

I official stink at blogging.

It's just - every time I've sat down to type lately, something has interrupted. Anna Marie, the dogs, the laundry, the phone, did I mention the dogs? - they're all competing for my time and attention.

But I'm making my mid-year's resolution. I'm picking up the pace. I'm being a better bloggy friend. I'm writing on my own dang blog.

It won't be every day. It probably won't be every other day. But I've got to get back into the swing of things, or I'll never get back on this horse.

(Did I just mix metaphors again? Awesome.)