Dear neighborhood birds

(An open letter to all the birds which reside in the trees surrounding my house.)

Dear neighborhood birds,

Hi there! We've never met, but I feel like I know you so well I thought it would be OK if I wrote y'all this letter.

I know, for instance, that you are early risers. All of you. Early. Like before the sun is even up. Early.

I also know that you are apparently OCD, because repetition and routine seem to be your strong points.

For instance, not only do you begin your song service at approximately the same (ungodly) hour each morning - there seems to be a definite repetition to the chirps.

If I may be frank here, birds, it is quite maddening.

I am beginning to resent being cheated out of my last hour of sleep simply because you feel the need to socialize.

While I appreciate the shade brought to my home by my trees, I am beginning to contemplate their demise so as to be rid of you.

I do not bust up into your crib at all hours of the night, playing my Tobymac or my Barlowgirl or Superchic(k) or any such thing.

Yes, I could sleep with ear plugs, but as you might know I have a small child. When she comes to me in the night, she is not comforted much when it takes her extra long to rouse me and she is then unable to communicate her needs through the plugs.

So, in the future, could you set your alarm just a little later, say until 7:00 a.m. or so? Or at least hit the snooze button a few times? I think you'd benefit from the extra sleep as much as I would.

And while I realize that your people have an ancient saying that "The early bird catches the worm," I think that in today's economy there are plenty of worms to go around. And, you may gain an advantage by a staggered eating schedule.

Just a suggestion.

Hoping to (not) hear from you soon,

A concerned sleeper.