Thursday, September 14, 2006

I have found the perfect job.

Yesterday, I went to our local magazine publishing plant for the printing of "Welcome to Tate County 2007."

I sat in this room all day, while reading interesting magazines from all over (I learned what it's like to be a parent in NYC! And have lots and lots of options to entertain your child!) and had access to much food and drink. (Notice, I said "access." I only indulged a little.

Every hour or so, one of the guys would come out of the press room and bring me eight more pages to look at. It was fascinating.

When I tired of reading about NYC parents and how to properly merchandise accessories, I watched this:

It had cable and everything. I've stayed in motel rooms that weren't as nice.

I wanted to go see our pages being printed, but there were some silly OSHA regulations about not wearing open-toe shoes near the machinery. Hello? Don't they know it's summer? I don't really have any closed-toe summer shoes, except for my tennis shoes, and I wasn't wearing those. It would've been tacky.

Never fear. The nice press guy said they had sneakers I could borrow. Imagine that - they even provided me with sneakers! When I got them out of the cabinet (bottom right of the entertainment center) I noticed a Yatzee game (is that how you spell it? I've never played it.) and some blankets. In another cabinet were pillows, which looked nicer than those I have at home. I guess some people like to nap in between press runs.

They also provided ear plugs in the press room, which is good, because it is LOUD. And very, very cool. I was duly impressed.

I spent around two hours there. My every need was catered to. I didn't even have to flip the light switch in my room or the adjacent kitchen - they operated by sensing my body heat! It felt so magical (and so Bill Gates-like) to just walk into a room and have the lights flip on.

I've decided that there has to be a job like this out there, for real. I could sit in a room by myself all day, reading magazines and watching Dr. Phil, and eating minature Butterfingers (but only just a couple). Someone has to hire me to do that and just look at magazine pages every couple of hours.

That's the job for me!

Oh yeah, they also had a light box so I could make sure the colors were right on my pages.

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