Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Ghosts of Christmas past

I found these pictures recently.

WARNING: Viewing these photos may not be pleasant. I'm going to show them anyway.

This is the first year we took a Christmas card picture, when Anna Marie was about 14 months old. We'd just moved from South Carolina to Mississippi, and this was taken in front of a huge tree in the Peabody Hotel in Memphis.

Note: we couldn't get the paci out of her mouth long enough to take a picture. Bad, bad parents that we were. And those were the only pacis she would take, making it difficult to replace them when she inevitably bit the nipples.

(Man, I should get lots of Google hits with those last few words! Score!)

This is the next year, in front of a tree at Peabody Place Mall.

Note the "French Whore" style of makeup I employed at the time. Why did no one point out the amazing amount of blush on my cheeks?

(Ooh, another Google hit spectacular!)

christmas pic

And of course, this year's model.

We did take a picture for Christmas 2004, but I couldn't find a copy. And last year was the infamous waiting-on-the-DirecTV-Man-to-show-up-with-the-DVR year. No picture, no cards.

So I'll leave you with a story from this afternoon.

I was traveling down a main road in our town, which is actually a state highway, on my way back to work after running errands at lunch. There is a car dealership next to a stoplight on said road.

When I was stopped by the light, in my Amazing Technicolor Dream Van, I noticed someone in front of the dealership waving me down.

Thinkin he might be in distress, I rolled down my window.

Car Guy: Hey, aren't you ready to trade? (Motioning to the $30,000 vehicles behind him).

Me: No, not today.

Car Guy (Obviously eyeing my 11-year-old, multi-colored van) Are you sure?

Me: I don't think my husband would be too happy if I did that.

Car Guy: I think he would.

Me: No thanks!

Car Guy: Merry Christmas.

Thankfully, the light turned. What would Jason have done if I'd taken a long lunch, and he came home to a new car in the driveway? A new car we really, truly can't afford the payment on?

I don't know, and I don't want to know. I just know what I'd do if he'd done the same thing, and I think it's in everyone's best interest that this car deal doesn't go through.

Merry Christmas, Car Guy. I just saved you from the Wrath of Jason. You can thank me later.


Valerie said...

OMG - what a change!! and don't make me laugh with the whore's makeup..too dang funny!!

Melissa said...

Actually, seeing that picture made me think of what one of my former co-worker's father (and retired police officer) said when he saw our new DARE car (the one for the officer who goes to schools to talk about drugs):

"They've made that car up like a French whore."

The stickers for the car were donated by the local Lion's Club. I guess they wanted to make sure everyone could see it.

Jolene George said...

LOL! I can just see your site meter going crazy trying to keep count. You are too funny. This years picture is the best! I LOVE it...honest!

Debs said...

Wow, you are looking really good :-) Keep up the good work.
Debs (over from OWOA)

Melissa said...

Thanks ladies!