HAHAHAHAHA

Get ready for your daily dose of laughter, at my expense!

Sigh.

So, I'm a real coupon fiend, if you didn't know. Anna Marie thinks I'm obsessed with getting every coupon I can, and that's partly true - and I've tried to explain to her that it's part of my job in this family, to try to help be a good steward of the resources which God has blessed us with.

And a few months ago, I joined The Grocery Game, and my grocery bill averages $20-$30 per week.

I'm not kidding!

(And if, in spite of what I'm about to tell you about my foolishness, you decide to join, please use me as a reference! If enough of you do, I get, I don't know, a free month or something.)

So Kroger has been having this deal, that if you buy 10 of the items on their list, you automatically get $5 off your bill. The stuff is already on sale, and Sunday's paper had a BUNCH of coupons for the stuff that was on sale!

I had my game plan on Sunday, when we do our normal shopping (on the way home from church, so as to not use extra gas.)

(Remember the part about the gas. It's important later.)

I picked out the stuff on my list, went to the register, and used my coupons. And on the way out of the store, Jason said, "Weren't they supposed to take $5 off the bill?" And I said, "I thought they did." And we looked at the receipt, and they had not. So, I double checked the receipt against the list of eligible products, and guess what - I'd only bought 8 of the things, not 10!

(The four boxes of Pop Tarts I'd scored, which ended up costing just $1.50 each, were apparently not eligible.)

Oh, I was upset, again, at having spent $5 more than I'd planned. But, I had a Plan B! Included in that coupon insert was a rebate form - if you bought 10 things on that list, you could get a $10 rebate!

I was so excited, thinking I could get my money back, plus some! Enter the "Fine Print" - the items must be purchased after August 5.

The date, on that day, was August 3.

Dang it!

Well, I got up this morning with a plan.

It was my last day of being in the house by myself in the morning, because Anna Marie would be with mom going to the auction, and school starts this week so that scenario will end. And today was also the last day of the sale, and I had enough coupons left over from that insert to buy different stuff and get not only the good deals, but, with the rebate, they'd be FREE!

So, this morning before work, I drove to the nearest Kroger, 12 miles away.

Remember what I said about "no extra gas?" I figure that part of my day has cost me about $3.50, right off the bat, for gas.

I run through the store, getting not only my carefully-counted-out 10 items, but also a couple of other really good deals. And I check out. And they take the $5 off! And I use my coupons! And I get the following things for $14.95, including tax:

• Four boxes of cereal
• Two boxes of cereal straws
• Two packages of cookies
• A box of drink pouches (for Anna Marie's lunchbox)
• A big honkin' thing of ketchup
• A package of lunch meat
• A package of burrito-size tortillas

All in all, not bad for less than $15, and I thought I was getting $10 back, so I'd only be paying $5.

But - as I was checking out, I realized that while I had met the requirements for getting $5 off, two of the things I'd bought were not on the rebate list.

Just like I'd missed the discount by two items on Sunday, I missed the rebate by two items this morning.

And I'd spent extra gas money.

And now I'm going to have to tell this whole story to Jason when he gets home.

And when you're done laughing, and wiping the tears from your eyes, you can take this as a lesson - about the best laid plans of mice, men, and moms.